When it rains it REALLY freakin' pours. (and not in the good way)

So any one whose met me could probably tell you that I have the best of intentions, but that I can be a bit scatter brained.  Honestly my heart is in the right place, but as my sweet would dub me I am a "Hot Mess". I have been waiting to get paid so I could pay for a multitude of things (bills) in my life.  My brief stint of unemployment really knocked me back.  I can't imagine what its like for those of us out there who have been out of work for months or more.

Now to the point.  I just got a letter from the DMV today, I forgot to pay a speeding ticket, so now they've suspended my license.  I have zero dollars so I will not be driving much.  Not only do I still have to pay the ticket but I also have to pay to have my license reinstated now.  Guess how much that costs: $145.  So, we could run down the long list of things Caroline has to pay for but has no money for:
Doctors Care/Health costs: $215 (Damn my need to be healthy.)
Speeding Ticket: $180 (Late Fee included)
License reinstated: $145
Car Insurance: $50 (Estimated- I am changing how I pay it so I don't know that exact cost)
Rent (On the apartment whose lease I'm still on cause I am a schmuck and a good person): $512.50
Total: $1102.50

Money I have coming in tomorrow: $663

Being really broke: I would say priceless, but there are a lot of prices up there!!!

So if anyone knows of a good way for me to earn some dollars, in a hurry, that doesn't involve prostitution or other illegal activity, hit me up.

God I hope that children are different than puppies.

I just don't understand.  How can one puppy train up so well and then the other wouldn't listen if you were trying to save her from being eaten by a ravenous hyena.  Amelia is our fourth and youngest puppy and lately I want to either put her through a wall or leave her on the side of the road.  With my luck she'd come back. 

Now I am concerned.  I feel at a loss with her.  Should I, could I, ever handle a child if I can't handle a puppy.  She is just so innately bad.  No I take that back, she's not inherently bad, she doesn't know the difference between good and bad.  Bean (our third puppy, who is actually behaving the majority of the time.) wants so badly to be good, she has guilt when she's misbehaved and she even accepts being punished when she deserves it.  Bean just wants to be such a good girl, Amelia on the other hand wouldn't know how to be good or bad if her life depended on it. 

Back to children and puppies.  Not having children I can only hypothesize, but I imagine they are more work but are they also more rewarding?  Do you see what you're trying to teach them reflected in their behaviors?  I have this feeling that when the time comes I am going to be a good mother, I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, but I have doubts.  Now maybe I shouldn't be hanging my ideas of parenthood on how I deal with my pets, but  today shook my confidence.

Amelia is so bad!




::WARNING:: This picture is going to look really cute.  You are going to look at it and say, "That angelic face, those big button eyes edged with little lashes.  She couldn't be as bad as Caroline is saying."  Don't be fooled!  She is! She does not listen, to her own detriment.

This is the face of a very bad puppy!!!

Something that I hate... (Warning this makes me sound like a sadder example of an adult than I am.)

So I have to go home alone and eat dinner by myself, because Deb is going out for her birthday with our friends Joy and Meagan. YAY!!! On the one hand I am really happy for my sweetie pie to go out and enjoy dinner with friends, but I am so co-dependent at the moment I know I'll be lonely. That is sad and I am not as co-dependant as all that sounds, but at the same time I am.

She and I have talked a lot about this and we have come to the realization that we need each other. Incase you were wondering we're ok with it. It's just a truth about us. The thing that bugs menus that I get jealous when she goes out by herself with friends because I wish I could be there with her and people. I am very social an sitting home alone is very contradictory to how I usually roll.

This is all shades of self obsessed right now but it is what it is. How do you get past that part of yourself, it's too much. Well I guess that's all. I am just desperate for some attention I suppose. Look at me, look at me!!!

I want something to be free...

So maybe I am just being dense, but I just want to be able to go to D.C. pay for all the appropriate licenses and fees, pay my officiant and not have to pay to stand on a street corner to do it.  Is there no where that you can just go and say hey, "this is a public space, taxes pay for it, let me take 20 minutes to commit my life and love to this person while we're here together." (conveniently with our license and officiant present) I just don't get it.

Can't you just walk into a park and kick it? Why do I have to pay hundreds of dollars for something that is going to last under a half an hour.  I mean truly I don't care where it is, because the point is not that we got married in front of the large phallic washington monument, the important part is that we got married.

Up until this point the whole wedding thing has been fun, honestly, I have really enjoyed it and I think our day is going to be great, full of cootie catchers and fake mustaches, but this whole event site is becoming a pain.

Alas I am going to give up for now, once again not completing a thing and go to bed.  Before I met Deb I never loved to sleep as much as I do now.  She's turned me into a sleeper when I used to do 2-6 hours a night, she has made it so I need to spoil myself with sleep.  I love her so much.  Now I am going to love my sleep too.  So excited!!!

Well I guess it all comes down to why not...

So this may become boring and redundant, but we'll try to avoid that.  I was telling my friend and neighbor Jamie (Jamie's Blog) that if I were to blog it would be like,

• Hey spent another boring day working at a bank
• Got home and a puppy misbehaved 
• Hey I never finished the project I wanted to 
• Lets go to bed."  

I can't help but think that I may have over simplified a wee bit.  Though all of those bullets are stops on my tour, I suppose things happen along the way that make me go "huh." or "Oooh".

So to start this whole thing off, I guess a bit about me: I am 26 years-old.  My name is Caroline, but I grew up being called Carrie.  My fiance` Deb would tell you that that is weird, and to be honest it is a little.  I feel very Carolinear.  We are getting married by a justice of the peace or some thing in a crazy 25 days.  That is just insane.  We live in one of the most backward states in the union (Virginia) so that means that we will actually be getting married in DC and then battling it out to establish some sort of rights in the commonwealth.  I am actually trying to figure out how to change my name legally, which I thought was as easy as going to the DMV.  Apparently it isn't.  That is the last time I get my legal advice from a rerun of Friends, I tell you what.  Our celebration is at the end of May and we have started to get really excited.

So now for a quick note/statement about a curious phenomenon that I dealt with today.  I encountered a woman who had an unfortunate oder about her person.  The oder was that of cat urine, and it was so invasive and ferocious that upon her exit there was a need for febreeze and the opening of a door.  As a customer service representative how is one supposed to tactfully tackle that, I ask you.

That's it for now, a quick start, once again didn't finish any planned projects and now I feel ready to be asleep.

...The cat is aggressively rubbing herself on us in a desperate plea for affection.  I'm going to give in, because she doesn't smell like her own urine.